Author : detay
Fanfic URL : www.winglin.net/fanfic/cousins
Fanfic Title : The Telephone Operator
Reviewer : ♥Zara♥
Title: 5/5
the title catches the peoples eye and makes them wonder about what your fic is about, which means you can get a lot of readers, and that’s a good thing!
Poster/Background: 8/10
it is almost great, but it feels like you only looked on the feminine side of the fic, it’s a bit too girlish but i suppose it’s about a loving couple so that can help. the poster although is cute, it’s nice you used matching images of wangzi and gui gui, like both of them are wearing glasses and the scene in BSM.
Forewords: 6/10
you introduced the characters and desribed what connection they have on each other but that was ALL you did, for the first chapter, the readers might’ve started off confused as you didn’t mention anything about them fighting. the good thing is that they kept reading trying to find out why they were fighting. the forewords was i bit short too, it needed a little bit more information.
Plot: 10/15
there wasn’t really much of a plot to it, it was just a break up and a sudden wedding, it was really sweet though, but even if it was just one shot, i’m sure that the readers would want more
Creativity/Originality: 6/10
it was okay, but your story was quite short and predictable, no twists or anything.
Flow: 8/10
the flow of it was quite smooth but a little bumpy sometimes, it kinda got me a little confused on which person is talking or who’s talking to who.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 9/10
i understood everything else and the spelling is perfect, but this is the only one that i didn’t understand “I didn’t know there is someone like that. How did knew me?”…
Characterization: 9/10
the characters were layed out well, but on the second chapter, it was hard to understand from the ‘someone’s point of view’, and you wouldn’t know if it was gui gui, wangzi or that someone.
Writing Style: 7/10
the writing style was good and enough for everyone to understand. it was quick and snappy.
Overall Enjoyment: 4/5
i enjoyed reading it, except that it was a bit too short.. ahehe… it’s not that theres anything wrong with that. i hope you can make more fanfics in the furture.
Bonus: 4/5
i’m glad that you used Wang Zi and Gui Gui together, I’m also a fan of GuiWang.
Total : 76/100
