Story Title: Some call it stupid… I call it LOVE.
Author: forgottenmemories520
Fanfic URL : http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/forgottenmemori/
Status : On Going
Reviewer: Khlaren @ Mystery-cious
Title: 3/5
The title is interesting and it grabs attention. But I don’t really get the connection between the title and the plot.
Poster/Background: 7.5/10
The poster is artistic and it gives you a warm feeling seeing the Chinese words written on the sticky notepad; like it was written by a person who fell in love with someone but the person can’t tell it to him/her—just so ambiguous! The poster is good but you don’t have a proper background so I’m taking a few points off. I personally think that your background color, which is violet, doesn’t go with your poster.
Forewords: 6/10
The prologue is interesting and very dramatic. It almost felt real to me. But you didn’t write anything about the characters so it doesn’t tell. Plus, some forewords tell the readers the plot of the story but by when I read yours, I was still clueless. And I don’t think that’s good because a lot of readers continue reading a story if the foreword is good. Let’s just say that the chapter 1 is the extension of your forewords.
Plot: 12/15
The plot is good; I have to say as the fanfic is just starting. I can’t really say much about this because you only have a few chapters. The almost-rape scene was unexpected (because I was expecting Charles to be the one following Junnie) so I’m giving you additional points for that.
Creativity/Originality: 7/10
I don’t think that the plot is original because I’ve read a lot of stories like this. A ‘loser’ girl being best friends with a ‘popular’ girl, and falling in love with another ‘popular’ guy. And don’t let me forget this, a ‘flirt’ used-to-be a friend of the ‘loser’ trying to get the ‘popular’ guy’s attention, it’s very common. It’s not really new but since the story is just starting, I still haven’t seen much of what really is going to happen. As for your creativity, I think you can transform a boring plot into an interesting story. Your ideas make your plot standout from the others.
Flow: 8/10
I gave you an eight because the flow is just right. You are explaining every scene perfectly and it makes the flow of your story better.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 7.5/10
Your grammar isn’t bad. I just have a few problems.
Your ‘i’ should be in upper case : She let go of me and ‘i’ could feel my head spinning. –It should be: She let go of me and ‘I’ could feel my head spinning.
You missed some of your punctuation marks. Whenever you use a period, question mark, or an exclamation point, the first letter of your next sentence must be in upper case.
Your “haha! ok! i’m coming! Roar!!!” in chapter 4 must be: “Haha! Okay! I’m coming! Roar!”
And it doesn’t hurt to use a comma. 
3. This made me think: “He was chasing after me. Then, a dead end appeared.” I know it meant she was running too fast and didn’t realize she was going on to a dead end. But the word you used—appeared, isn’t the right word because a dead end couldn’t just ‘appear’ right? It could’ve been better if you said:
“He was chasing after me so I ran as fast as I could but then, I ended up facing a dead end. Oh great, I thought. “
4. This didn’t make sense: We stayed in that position for a while, until my driver, who probably got irritated, started honking at us. –A driver is a ‘servant’ and it’s not right to honk at his ‘master’ just because he’s irritated.
This one I also didn’t understand: I heard her praying from the ancestor thing (Idk what it’s called) –This isn’t actually a major problem. It’s just that I didn’t understand who said “I don’t know what it’s called.” It’s either you or the character, Junnie.
Those are the things I have to tell you. But other than that, your grammar is good. Your spelling is great and your vocabulary is even better than mine. lol~
Characterization: 9/10
The characters were all introduced properly so it’s okay. It was hard to remember the names at first because those names were just invented. Plus points for having the courage to use new names!
Writing Style: 7/10
The way you write is very good. Some parts even made me laugh a bit. I enjoyed reading the few chapters and I might actually continue reading so UPDATE SOON XD! A few points off because it seemed like you press ‘enter’ after every 2-3 sentences.
Overall Enjoyment: 4/5
As I’ve said, I might actually continue reading this so I like it a lot!
Bonus: 5/5
5 points for still updating even if you don’t receive much comments! Keep up the good work and continue writing! :]
Total: 76/100
Reviewer Note : You’re a good writer, don’t give up just because people don’t read your story! Good job!
