Name :Shyrette
Story Title :Can You Love Me.?
Fanfic URL :www.winglin.net/fanfic/Shasha_02
Reviewer : Zara
Title: 5/5: the title is a question which makes the readers wonder about what will happen in the fic and find the answer.
Poster/Background: 7/10: the poster is a bit plain but i suppose it’s straight to the point of the main characters, the background also matches the poster and the color baby blue highlights the genre of the fic. the rest of Fahrenheit and S.H.E is in the fic too aren’t they? why aren’t they in the poster too?
Forewords: 8/10: the foreword is good, you introduced the characters well and what connection they have on each other, although you just repeated everything twice, like the characters correlation, you stated the obvious about the girls being best friends and the boys being best friends. for example: Hebe Tian – One of the best friends of Ella. She has a natural beauty. She is smart. She is the most smart in SHEA. She has a boyfriend named “Aaron Yan”.
Aaron Yan – Boyfriend of Hebe Tian. One of the best friend of Jiro Wang and Calvin Chen. it’s just like saying the same thing twice and you didn’t mention their personalities too. however, the reader will easily understand it very well.
Plot: 12/15: the plot of arranged marriages and the main leads not knowing each other is pretty…old. there are many fics out there that has the same plot as you only with different characters. it’s predictable and we can easily guess what will happen in the end.
Creativity/Originality: 8/10: even though you have a usual plot, you still added your own twists and problems to the fic which makes it more interesting for us readers. Good!
Flow: 8/10: the flow of your fic is straight to the point and can be alittle bumpy, sometimes i couldn’t specify who was talking and what he/she meant.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 7/10: there are no spelling mistakes as far as i am concerned although the vocabulary and grammar is a little bit… not okay, for example:
“Chun, after your school, come early, ok.?”:
“I’m just reminding you, maybe later you have a friends already”
“Why you don’t have friends.? Are they mad at you.?” Mrs. Wu asked.: it’s suppose to be ‘don’t you’
“No mom, Im just no time to bond at them.”
“Chun, don’t be serious at all.” ???
“Ok mom. I gotta go, before I will get late.”: ‘before I’m late’
Then he got to his car. His driver named “James”. James will pick him at exactly after the class. (i just picked some quotes with mistakes)
Characterization: 10/10: the caharcters are great! Fahrenheit is a craze at the moment along with S.H.E and Danson Tang. the couples like BeBu are great partenrizing too!.
Writing Style: 8/10: you write your fic story style and described their action acurately. although the vocabulary needs to be improved.
Overall Enjoyment: 5/5: i really enjoyed the fic and i hope you’ll write more in the furture. i really hope thet this reveiw will help you.
Bonus: 4/5: I’ll give you a bonus for your hard work and the plot.
Total: 82/100
I’m very sorry if was too harsh, as a part of my job i need to be honest.. ahehehe.
please dont bash and request from http://mystery-cious.blogspot.com/
♥Zara♥
