Author: JAC
Fanfic URL : http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/JAC
Status : One-Shot (Completed)
Reviewer: Simple Khlaren @ Mystery-Cious
Title: 3/5
-I find the title weird and it wasn’t appealing.
Poster/Background: 1/10
-Nine points off because you don’t have a poster or a background.. You should request for a poster/background to make you story more appealing.
Forewords: 6/10
-I totally disagree with your views about the rain. I find rain interesting and raining doesn’t mean you can’t do anything. And it also doesn’t mean that you can’t have fun just because of the rain/storm. It might be hard, but it’s not entirely true.
Plot: 13/15
-This is the first fanfic that I‘ve read which is not a love story, so plus points for that. However, I felt like you didn’t think about your plot that much. And it is a bit cliché—scary stories during a rainy night.
Creativity/Originality: 8/10
-Eight for having the courage to create a story like that. You don’t see authors who write scary one-shot fanfics everyday, right?
Flow: 7/10
-It was okay, not very fast, not very slow.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 5.5/10
-I noticed a lot of mistakes there; from tenses, to spelling of words. I have a few problems when it comes to usage of ‘the’, ‘by then’, and ‘though’.
I have to ask these to you:
1. How do you sit ‘rudely’?
2. What is an eating voice?
You have to think before typing the words because if you don’t, you might not be able to express your ideas to the readers properly. You have to check your vocabularies because it would help you write better.
Characterization: 8/10
-You described them properly but one thing I didn’t like is that you made Aaron seem gay when he asked Wu Zun if he could stay on his lap. I guess it’s fine because you played with the character’s personality. It was just me, honestly.
Writing Style: 8/10
-Again, it was fine. Some parts made me laugh but I the parentheses bothered me when Calvin was telling the ghost story.
Overall Enjoyment: 2/5
-To be honest, I didn’t enjoy the story because of the mistakes I saw. I had to think through things before actually understanding. You have to try and lessen the word play, I guess.
Bonus: 5/5
-5 points for writing an extraordinary storyline. And also because you’re a new writer 
Total: 61/100
