Author: BLACKCHERRY
Fanfic Title: Marriage Aftermath
Fanfic URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/blackC001/
Status: One-Shots
Reviewer: Sweet_YunJae
Title: 4/5
The title is fine and it goes well with the story. But I took off points because it doesn’t attracts readers when they first sees it. But it’s fine.
Poster/Background: 9/10
The poster and background is nice. But your one-shot is short and mostly about the rated part. Though, it’s really beautiful.
Forewords: 8/10
Your forewords doesn’t described much. It just include a short summary and I can’t picture their relationship before marriage. Just include more details and be specific.
Plot: 13/15
Your plot isn’t very creative. Also, I really can’t picture any thing in my mind. Also, it lacks details. Yeah, like I said before, be more precise.
Creativity/Originality: 8/10
Well, your story isn’t very creative. Every marriage have their own problems. Usually, the mom or dad comes between them.
Flow: 9/10
What you lack here is that you didn’t include much about what happened before their marriage. And the talk with Jaejoong’s mom, I really want to know what she told me.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10
There were many grammar errors. I didn’t see any spelling, though. Please have a proof-reader to double check your story before you update it. Don’t worry, I make mistakes too, too much sometimes.
Characterization: 8/10
I can’t tell what Jaejoong and BoA’s personalities in this story. Well, I can tell they really love each other. Also, I’m not sure if BoA likes her mother-in-law or not.
Writing Style: 9/10
Please just include more details and be more precise. Also, if the story is in BoA’s point of view, it’s first person not third. Third person doesn’t use I, me, or we. Please keep that in mind.
Overall Enjoyment: 5/5
I hope you keep all of those things in mind. You really need to improve on the details and characterization. Ask someone to read your story beforehand. Also, I really enjoy reading it. It’s been ages since I’d read a straight Rated fanfic. But I don’t have a problem with it. I actually wanted more, Lol! Perverted me=.= Just improve on your weak spots and you’ll be fine~
Bonus: 5/5
I can see youenjoy Jaejoong and BoA couple. Lol, you’re doing a good job, too. Just be more precise and you’ll be a very good writer. I can see you enjoy writing a lot.
Total: 86/100
