Title: Angel of Secrets
Author: Smu-chan
Fanfic URL: http://winglin.net/fanfic/Smu1_chan
Status: On-Going
Reviewer: Khlaren @ Mystery-Cious
Title: 4/5
The title is interesting and eye-catching. At first, I thought there won’t be a real angel in the story. But it turns out, there really is. So good job!
Poster/Background: 5/10
You don’t have a real poster yet. But it’s okay since you chose another picture to cover it up first before the poster arrives. The background, however, hurts my eyes. Or maybe it’s just because I don’t like blue.
Forewords: 7/10
You have good forewords too but I spotted a few grammatical errors just there. I like your forewords because you introduced the characters and you said something about the plot in a short introduction. Plus, it’s interesting.
Plot: 13/15
I find your plot unique for I didn’t expect the story to have a real angel in it. But it’s a little confusing because I thought Jaejoong’s brother was alive and not an angel.
Creativity/Originality: 9/10
As I’ve said, I find your plot unique and the story is very original. Anybody can see your creativity here too, good job.
Flow: 8/10
I find the flow okay. It’s not very slow and not very fast. I just think you can do better with this if you try and say more about the setting or the least, more about the characters.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 4.5/10
You have a lot of misspelled words that I almost couldn’t understand your story. Your grammar isn’t the best too. You have to practice more.
A piece of advice here:
If you don’t know the right spelling of a word, try to check your dictionary or even the internet. It’s easy to find. Don’t just spell the word depending on how it sounds like.
Characterisation: 6.5/10
At first, I find Jaejoong pitiful and Yunho superior. But as I read more, yunho changes his character. Though I notice his slow character change, I have no idea why. You have to tell readers more about how the characters feel.
Writing Style: 7/10
It’s confusing because of the grammar and spelling. Also, I find it disconcerting every time you change your writing style from this:
Yunho: lalalalala
Jaejoong: huh?
To this:
“Lalala,” Yunho says.
“Huh?” Jaejoong asks in confusion.
I hope you won’t change the style frequently.
Overall Enjoyment: 3/5
Though I had a lot of things to say, I still enjoyed reading your story!
Bonus: 3/5
Total: 70/100
