Name :Saithe
Email :alucardlover1431@yahoo.com
Story Title :A Million Little Pieces
Fanfic URL :http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/Saithe/
Reviewer : candycane@ Mystery-Cious
Title: 4/5
It was related to the story. Your first sentence was already your title. It was not that catchy though.
Poster/Background: 4/10
Your background is very simple, good job. You didn’t have a poster which was a pity. I didn’t feel comfortable reading your story since it was in black font colour which was almost the same as your background. You should change your font colour into something brightr, just not black which is almost identical to your poster. I had to highlight all the words to read your story.
Forewords: 2 /10
Your forwards only introduced the characters names, nothing about the characters. There was no preview and I didn’t understand your forewords since I don’t quite like Super Junior, I had no idea what characters it was in the beginning until the 2nd chapter. Yous hould explain more about the characters and whether it was a girl or guy…
Plot : 11 /15
It was kinda boring in the beginning so I hope you would improve and add more interesting stuff. I didn’t get your story since you didn’t do a good job with the characters, which lead to readers not knowing what to make up of what you are trying to write. You ould start with explaining your characters more in depth, than you could start thinking some twist for your plot.
Creativity/Originality: 6/10
It was not that creative or original but at least you made the effort to try. I think you should start thinking of more twist for your story or write it more in depth. It was a just average to me overall.
Flow: 7/10
Your story was good it was connected overall. Eventhough, ideas were lacking but you did brought out the story. Overall, you should improve more on the characters and more creative plot. You don’t have a problem in this area.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary:8/10
You did a great job, there was like a few mistakes only. Good Job!! You did great on this area. Keep up the good work!!
Characterisation:1/10
You just named the characters, you didn’t explain or describe them. You should have said what band were they from and all. I really had no clue who were they at the very beginning not until you wrote that they were from Super Junior. Furthermore, I didn’t have a clue whether your characters were boys or girls. You have to put more effort in this area. I believe you can do it!! All the best!!
Writing Style: 7/10
Your writing style was simple. It was easy to understand but because of your weakness, it lead your story being quite dull. Focus on your weak areas which is your characterisation and plot for now, you got pull down because of those two.
Overall Enjoyment: 1/5
I didn;t get most of the story!! I’m sorry!! Work Hard!!! I believe in you!!!
Bonus: 3/5
I hope you would take this as an advise and work harder especially on your weak areas. Good Luck!!! I believe in you!!!
Total : 54/100
