Romeo On Fire

Name :tRiNkEy
Email :trinwang@tmail.com
Story Title :Romeo on Fire
Fanfic URL :www.winglin.net/fanfic/sArAnGkEy/
Reviewer : Zara @ Mystery-Ciou

Title: 5/5: wow! your title really caught my eyes there! making me want to read it more, because we know that Romeo is a character in a Shakespeare play and the readers wonder what it’s about.

Poster/Background: 8/10: i like the poster a lot! it really highlights the characters straight to the point. i took 2 points off because the background was a little bit too bright and pink for me. i think it would be better if you change it into a lighter pink that’s not too dark, so it would bring out the poster more, because it looks like the poster is just completely attached to the background, if you know what I mean. however, i do not want to disrespect the designer.

Forewords: 5/10: you have said about the main characters in the forewords but you have mostly explained about your experience as a writer. you have done the introductions in the first chapter of the story which you should’ve done in the forewords instead. also, for the forewords, the plot of your story should really be outlined in there.

Plot: 9/15: the plot of your story is very common, a normal meeting and a normal love story…or heading that way. i don’t see any twists and turns coming up by the way characters have acted.

Creativity/Originality: 7/10: i am sorry to say that your story is interesting at the start but has gotten very predictable towards the chapters, i am getting the feeling of a love sparking between key and CL, and with Minzy with Taemin. and there is nothing much to say about it, it is a basic love story.

Flow: 7/10: the flow of story is, I’m sad to say, is quite confusing. i had no idea on who’s point of view it was and i was a little bit muddled. i need to figure out who was speaking as you didn’t mention about the POV’s.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 10/10: i only found some little mistakes like ‘she wanted to jog at da park’ but other than that, the English and spelling were alright. to make your sentences better, Firefox has spelling and grammar checkers for better sentences or you could type it out in microsoft word first.

Characterization: 9/10: the character of SHINee an 2NE1 together is something new to me, usually, 2NE1 is partnered with big bang. and something that confused a little but is ‘Minji’… isn’t it supposed to me ‘Minzy’? however, you have explained the characters personalities well but did not emphasize much on what they are feeling.

Writing Style: 5/10: your writing style was understandable, but it was mostly script style and i don’t approve about those much. it doesn’t explain what the character is really feeling, if the character is doing any gestures or the style of the way they say it. so you never know if the character has said it as a joke or not.

Overall Enjoyment: 3/5: the story was enjoyable and cute but i got confused a lot and the background was really hurting my eyes. other than that… it was pretty much understandable.

Bonus: 5/5: i love 2NE1 so i gave you a bonus!

Total: 73/100