Author: kibbit
Fan Fiction URL: www.winglin.net/fanfic/kibbit
Status: On going
Reviewer: Zara @ mysterycious
Title: 4/5: Could Have Been The One as a title already brought out a sad aura to the story. My first impression would be a dramatic heart breaking love between the characters and separation, and by reading the very first chapter: I was right, the story got a little bit predictive.
Poster/Background: 7/10: I got a little bit confused by the poster and background. the poster was happy and quirky, showing a bright and loving atmosphere with the characters along with the bright yellow background. However, it did not match the title or the beginning of the story line. the readers were expecting a happy starter from the first impression they get by the poster and background. Instead, it was more of a dark serious drama scene that don’t mix well with the bright banner.
Forewords: 9/10: the forewords are simple and straight to it’s point which is good. you didn’t add in too many clues and made the reader wonder and read more. it has little signs of regret and sadness towards it too!
Plot: 14/15: the plot of your fic is familiar to other fics but this can be a little different. the shock kimbum gets when she sees her again and when he sees her daughter;thier daughter. during the chapters, the closure of the 2 main characters are getting sweeter and sweeter until KimBum’s final feeling came out. it is interesting ang lovely.
Creativity/Originality: 8/10: these kind of stories are not really new to me. I have read many Fics like this but with just a little difference. you have added your own little twist to it. like the fact about SoEun being pregnant, and has the determination of raising the baby herself. however, the storyline is already etched in some readers mind and we all know what will happen in the end. but you kept it interesting throughout the cchapters.
Flow: 7/10: the flow was okay, i got confused in the second chapter though. it said SoEul for the name and then it moved onto SoEun. who was SoEul? the brackets sometimes got in the way of the stream of thought. like Ha-neul (two year old plus)l… the l got separated from the actual word which made me think ‘Ha-Neu?’
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10: I have spotted some simple spelling mistakes throughout but everything else was fine. SoEun: don’t need to shout ..your really qt when smiling…. i know what ‘qt’ means but it is now fully understandable by others as ‘cute’.
Characterization: 10/10: theere are not too much characters here which made it more understanable and not confusing. but others are nameless, like the parents. other than that it was pretty much great! the main characters are really a hit these days.
Writing Style: 6/10: i am sorry but I’m really not in favor of script style writing as it does not emphesize the characters doing, gestures or facial expression. the way you have to describe them is by using brackets which can get in the way. all we know is how they say it but we don’t know how they are acting, is it jokingly? or seriously? it is not very descriptive and takes longer to write as you have to repeat every single name one by one.
Overall Enjoyment: 3/5: i enjoyed the fic and it’s little twists one in a while but i got confused wuite a lot.
Bonus: 5/5: I gave you a bonus because i love the SoBum couple!
Total: 81/100
