Author: Beng
Status: Completed
Reviewer: ctanonymous @ mystery-cious
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/untilforever/
Title: 4/5
Your title is really beautiful (that may sound cheesy, but it’s true! xD). I like the way how it gives a sense and feeling of eternity, and it suits your storyline well. I also like how it makes me feel like I can last forever with my someone (when I HAVE one, LOOOOL). xDDD
Poster/Background: 8/10
Your poster and background are pretty, but I kind of had trouble reading the text in your poster. And the things didn’t really blend in, so you might consider specifying that to your designer in the future…
Forewords: 9/10
The song’s lyrics matched your story well…And your question – they seem kind of too…‘above the surface’, so you might want to go a bit deeper…Make some more complicated and thorough questions. And you’d want to separate the ‘This FF is…” part. It interrupts your forewords’ mood.
Plot: 12/15
Although it’s not the best plot ever, I liked the way you presented it, in a easy to understand way, since I’m not a very knowledgeable one, LOL.
Creativity/Originality: 7/10
I’ve seen a lot of these stories on Winglin, and yours doesn’t stand out a lot…
Flow: 7/10
Your story progresses slightly too fast. When does Mike start to fall in love with Rainie, exactly? Why? How? You rush through a lot of main and important points in the story.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 7/10
I caught a few minor grammar and spelling mistakes, but they didn’t affect your story’s meaning. They weren’t that noticeable either. But you might also want to increase your use of big vocabulary in your story.
Characterization: 8/10
Your details and dialogue did help me know the characters better, like how their traits are (aggressive, oblivious, etc) but you didn’t do enough. You could add more vivid and specific descriptions into your story to enable the reader to know your characters better.
Writing Style: 7/10
Your writing style was so-so. It was kinda too simple and rushed, and it seemed too thorough. You could have added more to it, I should say.
Overall Enjoyment: 5/5
Cute story. I liked the pairing, and it was well-written. Your scenes were expressed in an interesting way.
Bonus: 3/5
Because I just LOVE your title, and your R scenes were good. HAHA! Ima perv. >.>
Total: 77/100
Keep it up! (:
