Author: Sin Yan
URL: http://winglin.net/fanfic/stangedream/
Status: Completed Oneshot
Reviewer: ctanonymous @ mystery-cious
Title: 3/5
It fit your oneshot perfectly, but it was too straight-to-the-point. By looking at the title, I could easily infer that it’s about a strange dream that the main character had.
Poster/Background: 10/10
Your poster & background are simply so adorable! <3 I love your picture of Arron sleeping; he looks like a cute little baby! (Uhm, yes, I think I’m a pedophile too…) And it was easy to read your text.
Forewords: 8/10
It’s too brief. You should ask some questions in your forewords that revolve around your story to lead the reader to the point of your story.
Plot: 12/15
It was interesting, no doubt, but it was also very weird. It can be confusing, in a way, which isn’t really good. All you do in the oneshot is bunch up a variety of unreal events. You could add a better point to the story.
Creativity/Originality: 10/10
I have never seen a story like this on Winglin before, and it was very original, obviously your own work. All the events were never before seen by me, too. Haha.
Flow: 8/10
I understand that this is a oneshot, and the pace mustn’t be too slow or fast, and your oneshot tends to go too fast. You rush through the events in Arron’s dream, and you transition between scenes too fast.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 7/10
I spotted a few spelling errors, as well as a few grammar error. Overall, your mechanics were pretty good, except that you might want to use bigger vocabulary to make your writing better and more understandable.
Characterization: 5/10
You give very little description of your characters whatsoever, and it wasn’t apparent. All I could know was that Arron was kind of curious, and he was weird to have a dream like that, but that was it.
Writing Style: 9/10
I like how you separate your oneshot into little parts to not bore the reader, but your text was bunched up, making it kind of confusing, and I had a little trouble understanding the situations.
Overall Enjoyment: 5/5
It was very funny, and it gave me another genre to read about. Good job on the originality, too.
Bonus: 5/5
I simply LOVE your poster and plot. I don’t know if this was intentional, but you added a bit of humor into your oneshot, making me like it even more.
Total: 82/100
Keep writing! I look forward to your other stories. (:
