Name :Charmine Babayson
Email :bccham29@gmail.com
Story Title :18 Roses (Diary Entries)
Fanfic URL :http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/18roses/
Reviewer : Zara@ Mystery-Cious
Title: 5/5: the title you gave you fanfic is straight to the point. Indeed it was about 18 roses, it is easily predicted that this fanfic is about romance, adding the (diary entry) part gives it an idea that this story will always be in one person’s point of view.
Poster/Background: 9/10: sorry for taking a point off. the poster was really beautiful, it gave off the concept of your story but we didn’t have any idea on who the characters are. i only noticed when i saw a faint picture of Yoochun and a girl kissing fadedly on the background. i would’ve preferred when the picture of the main characters are included in the poster much more clearer.
Forewords: 6/10: the forewords were…eehh… because you didn’t introduce the characters that was going to be in your story. yes, what happens to them and what they will do about diaries explained it. but the forewords are used for the characters introductions. i must say though, it was short but sweet!
Plot: 13/15: the plot was predictable and sweet, but it had it’s own charm during the chapters. the way how the characters attracted each other in their own words were super cute, although it was a simple love story… a lot could be got out form it.
Creativity/Originality: 8/10: the story was striking and lovely at the same time, originality came out by the diary entries of the two lovers. the story was not very original though, I’m sorry, it was just a love story that happened in the same time with different peoples point of views.
Flow: 8/10: if it was a diary entry, they would’nt be writing it in very formal language would they? usually, diary entries have the readers inner thoughts and feelings. anything could be put in there on the way they would write it. i mean do you write your diary like that…so formal. the better way to do this is probably to use monolauge techniques. put more punctuation in and sudden change of train of thought.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 10/10: the spelling was fantastic! there were no errors and the vocabulary was great, also, you have put in capital letters in the right places. well done!
Characterization: 9/10: the characters were easily pointed out as Cerry and Yoochun. the other characters like the rest of DBSK has been told in the diary entry which is good. you didn’t include any other people’s point of view to prevent the confusion in the readers. good!
Writing Style: 10/10: the writing style was great! the use of first person really fit in well with the concept of your story. you have used proper puctuation and perfect vocabulary.
Overall Enjoyment: 5/5: i have enjoyed reading about the encouters of the 2 main lovers. well done! keep up the great work!
Bonus: 5/5:
Total: 83/100
sorry if i keep on taking random points off.
