Title: My So called love!?!?!? I Guess!?!?!?
Author: Sin Yan
URL: http://winglin.net/fanfic/aysy
Status: Ongoing
Reviewer: ctanonymous @ Mystery-cious
Title: 3/5
Yours was a creative title, and not one that I’ve seen before, so it’s your own original idea. But I don’t see how it really describes your story–the part where she has to choose who she wants–It doesn’t really show it. And you overuse exclamation marks…it seems too over exaggerated.
Poster/Background: 9/10
I like your poster, but the facial expressions of the pictures don’t explain the fact that there’s a love war in your story. They seemed too happy. And your text was easy to read, so you’ll get a few points for those.
Forewords: 7/10
You kind of put too much info in your forewords, some unnecessary details in it, like in the character profiles. And you shouldn’t tell what’s going to happen in the story, like who’s going to break up with who–that’s not needed. Forewords shouldn’t be TOO informative– just a quick, brief overview of your story.
Plot: 13/15
Your story lacked a bit of…things to make it interesting. I felt that your story just remained the same…nothing seems like the climax, or I might be wrong, if you haven’t gotten there yet, since it’s still ongoing. But I liked how you added a few of your own ideas in it–brother and sister, etc.
Creativity/Originality: 8/15
As I said, you added a few different points in your fanfic, making it slightly different from others that I’ve seen. That will earn you points, but I’m taking off a few points because your storyline is kind of overused. These storylines often take place in school, and yours isn’t different.
Flow: 6/10
Your story kind of progressed too fast…Everything just kind of happened without notice, suddenly, without anything leading the focus to them…does that make sense? You should focus a bit on each thing first, and not skip right into the other without telling more about it. For example, you don’t elaborate on when, how, why, all the characters fall in love with each other.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 5/10
You have a lot of spelling mistakes–most of which are errors while typing too fast, so you should probably edit your work a few times before posting it…And your grammar needs a bit of work, since I’ve spotted numerous errors in that category. You can replace bigger descriptions in your story, too…use bigger vocabulary.
Characterization: 9/10
You define your characters well…I could easily differ each individual from another, and your descriptions and dialogue definitely told me a lot about their personality, etc…But I was slightly confused. In the story, it seems like your characters just suddenly change without notice, and that I didn’t really understand.
Writing Style: 7/10
I think you should change your writing style a bit. It’s in texting language (emoticons, parentheses, lower-case throughout the story), and that can be really confusing for the reader at certain times. It’s also very hard to read, and people might not understand the point of your story too well…Your story would probably be better if you wrote it in novel form instead of script form.
Overall Enjoyment: 2/5
To be honest, I really didn’t enjoy your story that much…I’m a Bebu fan, and yours seemed like a Guilun storyline, so I didn’t like it that much. And sorry, but I didn’t feel like continuing your story at all. I wouldn’t have read it if I didn’t have to review it. Sorry if that’s offensive.
Bonus: 3/5
You chose a well pairing…a quite popular one, and that, I’ll give you points for. And I like your poster and background as well, so I’ll give you extra points for bonus.
Total: 72/100
Sorry if I was too harsh, but I’m just being honest…that’s what reviewers are supposed to do, right? Keep up the good work!
