Author: blae_007
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/mcbbf
Status: one shots
Reviewer: mhiz.SUNSHINE @ mystery-cious
Title: 4/5
The title is good. It suited with your story very well.
Poster/Background: 5/10
I’d have to say, but your poster isn’t really appealing to me. I mean the mirror- cracked image didn’t have anything to do with the story. And if the poster left out the actual picture upon the one in the background, it would’ve looked better. It looked kind of rushed. Despite the poster, I liked the background. The blends and the colors were good.
Forewords: 7/10
You do have some forewords, but maybe describing the characters could’ve made it better. The quotes are good, but I was a bit confused. I didn’t know that each sentence were from different sections.
Plot: 10/15
The plot is similar to many fanfics. I had read a lot of them with the girls ending up falling for their best friends.
Creativity/Originality: 6/10
Its quite a common plot actually. Even though, its a one- shot, you could’ve made it more interesting. It was not that creative or original, but at least you made the effort to write the story.
Flow: 9/10
Since this is a one- shot, I don’t really have much to say. But, the whole story was good. It wasn’t rushing nor did it take forever.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 3/10
Okay, this is a big deal. There were many mistakes. You forgot to put many periods after the end of a conversation or sentences. You also might’ve forgotten to put the ending quotes to sentences. You also used many simple words. You should really try to use more vocabulary words. Saying the same words over and over is a bit irritating. You should really improve in your way of writing. I know you can do it! ^^
Characterisation: 8/10
You didn’t really have any problems with characterization. Although, you could describe each character a bit more.
Writing Style: 7/10
Your writing style is simple. It was easy to read, but your weakness in typing errors made your score drop. You should always focus on your writing errors.
Overall Enjoyment: 4/5
I enjoyed reading your story very much!
Bonus: 3/5
I hope you could take the advices I gave you, and not be offended by my comments. Good luck with your other fanfics!
Total: 66/100
