Author: Why have I fallen for you?
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/beyla_1000wish
Status: one-shot completed
Reviewer: kawai_love@mysterycious
Title: 4/5
It was a great title. It fits your story very well. It gives the story a heart ached feeling. However, if I saw the title when I was looking through the fanfics, it wouldn’t have captured my interest.
Poster/Background: 8/10
The poster was amazing. It fits the plot extremely well. I was just hoping that the picture you used for Jaejoong made him look sad like he was in the story and gave him more sorrow. And I was hoping for a maybe lighter background to match your poster?
Forewords: 7.5/10
The forewords was very descriptive. It gave me a sense about the mood of your one-shot. However, I kind of feel like that the forewords gave too much of the story. Most of your plot seemed to be given away so when I read the story, I wasn’t really surprised by what happened. The turn of events didn’t shock me the way I hoped for it to.
Plot: 14/15
It flowed very nicely. It was choppy between scenes but then again it’s because it’s a one shot and it shouldn’t be to long and it should be more to the point than a chapter fanfic should be. So I liked the pace and I was able to keep up with it. :]
Creativity/Originality: 3/10
Sorry, but it was very clique. It started out as the boy who only got his love to support him in what he loves to do. Then he becomes famous and then she suddenly gets into an accident when he’s waiting for her. That’s something seen a lot of times during movies. Also, there’s part when she’s getting married and she comes to give the wedding invitation to him and how he wants to keep her still. But, I like the lyrics part. It gave the story a different path that the other stories don’t have.
Flow: 9.5/10
Like I said before, the flow was great. And I wouldn’t ask for the pace to be any faster or any slower than it is at the moment.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10
You spelled a couple of things wrong, but not much so it didn’t distract me from the story. Also, there was a bit of grammar mistakes here and there, but it wasn’t too big to notice. The vocabulary was well used.
Characterisation: 8/10
We got to know Jaejoong very well. But, I was hoping to know more about Hyemyeong. I feel that the only impression I got about her was her pretty stunning smile and her supporting words. I don’t think you emphasized about her feelings about him a lot. I feel if you did, then when the wedding scene came, the readers will have a greater sense about how much she’s giving up and that giving up Jaejoong was hard but she was tired of waiting for him.
Writing Style: 10/10
I love your writing style. It was very descriptive and had a lot of feelings in it. I was pleased with it :]
Overall Enjoyment: 4/5
I enjoyed reading this one-shot. There were some places when it got a little bit boring because you described too much and you repeated some things through the scene a little more than I would have liked.
Bonus: 5/5
I love the lyrics you put into the story. And how the story was molded around those lyrics or even the lyrics molded around the story.
Total: 81/100
I’m sorry if anything I said or any of my scores was a bit harsh. I hope you liked the review.
